When you have just recently left a relationship or marriage, sex can be dangerous for you.
And no, I’m not talking about that frantic should we get back together kind of sex – although that is more dangerous than most.
I’m talking about sex when you are at your most vulnerable and at your weakest and, with all the love and respect in the world, when you are really nothing more than prey for a thousand predators out there.
I remember how I felt in the months after I left my abusive ex-husband.
My self-esteem was rock bottom low, my confidence had vanished like a thief in the night, I questioned my decision to leave a hundred times a day and, once my children were asleep, I was achingly lonely.
Craving adult interaction and conversation in a way that you will only understand if you have been there. The thought of sex with someone – anyone – was scaringly appealing and would have been the worst thing I could have done.
While the intimate nature of sex would have given me the illusion of companionship, sex with a stranger and for the sake of sex would have further battered my self-esteem and my sense of self-worth.
And seriously, who is ready to start a new relationship so soon after ending an old one? We need time to heal. Time to heal our ego, our psyche and our self-esteem.
Before you indulge in nookie with a stranger, rather find a coach who can help you fast-track your recovery. So that when you do get between the sheets, it is on your terms and with someone who loves you and acknowledges you for the high value, priceless human being you are.