In January of 2007 I finally left my husband of ten years for the last time.
The average woman in an abusive relationship leaves her abuser 7 times before she finally leaves him for good.
Clearly, I’m above average. It only took me 6 times.
The first time I left him was after he pushed me down the stairs in our town house. I left and managed to stay left for all of a Saturday afternoon.
I was pregnant and couldn’t see a way forward without him.
The last time I left him I had two children and couldn’t see a way forward. Notice how I didn’t say a way forward with him? That’s because I couldn’t see a way forward, not with him or without him.
If it hadn’t been for my two girls, I would have taken some pills and quietly gone to sleep.
Forever. Now, more than 10 years later, when I look back at those times I wish that I had left – and stayed left – a whole lot sooner than what I did.
With hindsight, I know that part of the reason it took me so many attempts before I was able to leave him for good, was because I was reacting every single time.
Instead of making a clear decision and putting plans and action steps into place, each time I left was in reaction to the latest horror.
So there I was running with no clear idea of where I was running to or what I was going to do when I got there. Where would I live, how would I support my children etc etc. It’s no wonder I kept on going back. And I believe it’s one of the main reasons why that statistic is so high.
I believe that if had made a clear decision, consulted with someone who was well suited to be able to help me, I would have saved myself and my children years of anguish and torment.
If you are getting ready to leave your hell-on-earth relationship, there are a few things you need to do and know before you go.
And once you have left, there are things you need to do and know so that you can fast-track your recovery time. Believe me, the very best revenge is being your powerfully confident self, living your beautiful new life.
Don’t let fear keep you in a hell-on-earth relationship.
Talk to me.