I know from personal experience how difficult it can be, when you are stuck in a hell-on-earth relationship, to look to the future and see anything worthwhile.
Actually, that’s not quite right, because when I was married to my abuser I was not able to even think about the future, never mind actually trying to see what might lie ahead for me.
Now, all these years later, sometimes I need a reminder, not to look back, but to keep looking forward.
Over the weekend my daughter and I were chatting about what books she had or had not read, when she mentioned oh so casually that she hadn’t read any Jack Reacher books yet.
Jack Reacher is one of my favourite fictional characters. I was stunned and my first reaction was to be envious of her and I responded by telling her that I was jealous. Because here she was, at the beginning of the whole series of Jack Reacher books that were still waiting for her, unread.
Whereas I am left waiting for the author, Lee Childs, to get a move on and write another book.
Thankfully as I was speaking the words I realised that my thoughts needed a pivot.
It is far better for us to look forward to what magic awaits us than to look back at pleasures past.
I also had to stop a moment and give gratitude for the fact that I can look forward. I can imagine a future for myself, one where my new husband who loves me so much holds me tightly and I know I am safe. I am able to dream about my children’s lives and the promise of grandchildren to come. And so much more.
One of the things I am honoured to do for my clients is to help them get to a place where their future has more in it, than an empty abyss of nothingness.